hard day

stopped smoking today officially and have decided to go all healthy again, but will continue drinking and taking drugs just not smoking, and eating right so that it evens out and compensates for the other chemicals. those herbal pills are in again and have been taking them, they are as good as ecstacy except i rekon the lows are worse. how sad is that. i resorted to herbs. haha. was on them friday night, got pulled over by the cops (jim's brother reese is back and i was with him) coz reese went the oppostie way in teh one way street, wanted to die of shame, got threatened to be put in jail and was also told to shut my fucken mouth, i quote. dumbass police. we all denied being drunk. didn't go out saturday coz i was so fucked. on sunday i went to church in the village, was the only non-nivan there, and it was a great service, really touching. newho was on msn and nina was on, told me she aint a virgin and she's been betting, clubbing, etc and i was like big fucken deal thats what im doing right now dip shit. and yes spoke to mikayla adn honey i dont think im coming back. they keep forgetting to send my medical or they'll delay something and im just like fuck it....to tell u the truth, i dont give if i dont come back. i talked to my boss who is still eager for me to come but if i aint there by the 15th, then the job will be given to someone else. but you know what, if it aint meant to be, then it aint meant to be.